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 I have been very attracted to Judaism ever since I first began
to learn about it over thirty years ago. I have some reason to
believe that my family was originally Jewish, but converted. What
would be the steps for me to take to return to Judaism? I am especially
attracted to Reform Judaism. What can you tell me?
 Discovering or rediscovering one's personal history and family
history can be a profoundly enriching and transforming experience.
Conversion to Judaism is a process of cognitive and affective
development -- that is, learning what it means and how to be Jewish
and then experiencing and internalizing what has been learned.
While a conversion ceremony is transforming in several ways it
is also a statement that the celebrant has become Jewish and is
ready to declare his/her Jewish identity and commitment.
You have obviously done a great deal of work and searching to
this point. This process cannot, however, been done alone. It
requires a Rabbi as a guide and a Congregation as the full context.
Your next step should be to contact the Rabbi of the local Reform
congregation.
Written by Rabbi Bruce L. Gottlieb, Sinai Temple, Michigan City,
IN
Is it possible to convert to Judaism via the Internet?
Please understand that unlike Christianity where conversion is
a single, relatively simple act (baptism), conversion to Judaism
involves a great deal of study and thought. Therefore, conversion
over the Internet or by some other quick act is simply not possible
or advisable. To convert in that way would not be meaningful or
fulfilling.
May I suggest that you contact a rabbi near you. I am sure he or she would be happy to meet with you and discuss
ways you can begin to study about Judaism. If, after a period
of study, you decide that you want to become a Jew, I am sure
the rabbi would be ready and willing to explore that option with
you.
I hope that you will learn more about our faith and that you will,
indeed, make the decision to become a Jew. I look forward to welcoming
you into the Jewish people at that time.
Written by Rabbi Robert Orkand, Temple Israel, Westport, CT
Is it necessary to be conversant in the Hebrew tongue in order
to be accepted into the Jewish community via conversion? That
is, can I convert without learning Hebrew?
The short answer is, "Yes, you can convert."
Some of the Introduction to Judaism courses, offered around the
country and which many if not most prospective converts take enables
students to "decode" Hebrew, that is, read the sounds so that
at least they can follow along. Of course it is our hope that
converts as well as born Jews will learn more Hebrew than that,
so that at he very least they can know what the basic prayers
mean. But that takes time. Spoken Hebrew is something which very
few Jews are capable of, unless they have studied it in college
or in Israel itself.
Now, if you ask the question because you are aware of having a
language disability of some kind, I would talk to the rabbi sponsoring
your conversion. I am sure that he/she would work something out.
But if that isn't the case, jump right in to the excitement of
learning this wonderful ancient/modern language. The fact is,
Judaism is more exciting the more you understand the mother tongue,
because much of our Torah interpretation is based on linguistics.
But don't despair if you're not a scholar from the get-go!
Written by Rabbi George Stern, Temple Beth Torah, Upper Nyack
What is necessary in order to convert to Judaism?
What is necessary to convert to Judaism may vary in detail from
rabbi to rabbi, but I guess we would all agree that a period of
study would be necessary. This study would not only familiarize
the prospective convert with the basic beliefs and practices of
Judaism, but it would also help him/her entrance into the actual
community. I find it very important that the person do the studying
(and the internal growing) while participating in the actual life
of a Jewish community. This will allow many things to become second
nature to the individual. Once this slowly happens it will be
possible to assess how far the conversion has really gone. There
is nothing miraculous here, simply an educational process that
every rabbi needs to evaluate until his/her subjective criteria
are met. Then there are of course ritual aspects to formalize
matters which I would strongly encourage that they be done. In
the Reform rabbinate the requirement of ritual bath and circumcision
will vary from rabbi to rabbi.
Written by Rabbi Alex Lilienthal, Congregation Rodef Shalom, Waco,
TX
I am in the process of converting to Judaism. When the Conversion
ceremonies are completed, is it considered customary to render
a gratuity to the Rabbi that we have been working with? This is
a sensitive subject to ask of our Rabbi, whom we love and have
the deepest respect for. I want to avoid asking anything that
may seem self-serving and could be embarrassing to him.
I do not believe it is necessary to give an honorarium to the
rabbi who is doing your conversion, particularly if you have joined
or intend to join his temple. Working with conversion students
is part of a rabbi's normal duties. However, it would be a nice
thing if you made a contribution to the temple in honor of the
rabbi and in celebration of your conversion. I hope that helps.
Good luck, and Mazal Tov!
Written by Rabbi Bonnie Margulis, Religious Coalition for Reproductive
Choice
Why don't Jews proselytize?
Judaism has been a minority faith group for thousands of years.
Throughout much of that time, the majority faith group has been
either Christianity or Islam. Both of these religions are offshoots
of Judaism and, hence, monotheistic. That is, not recognizing
the validity of other gods. However, since Judaism was recognized
by both of these daughter religions as the prior, incomplete,
revelation of God, they decided to permit an active Jewish presence
in their midst. Of course, restrictions were placed upon Jews
living in Christian or Moslem society. Proselytizing was one of
these restrictions. Jews were not permitted to seek converts,
and in some cases, were forced to grant access by the majority
faith group's missionizers.
Thus, while we know of converts to Judaism, it was not a large
widespread movement and certainly not sanctioned by Jewish leaders.
In fact, the opposite has tended to be the case. There is much
Jewish material which suggests that Jews "oppose" proselytizing.
Before modern times, it would be exceedingly difficult for Jewish
leaders in Christian and Moslem countries to advocate missionizing
to the host society. This is still the case in Moslem countries.
Today, however, Jews in the US find themselves in a society where
free market reigns supreme. This includes the free market of spiritual
ideas, as can be seen by the explosion of interest in the New
Age Spirituality Movement. Recently, there has been a quiet but
significant emergence of outreach by Jewish movements. This outreach
has been focused on about to be interfaith couples, but is open
to all. The idea being that Judaism has something unique and spiritually
satisfying. Perhaps in cases where non-Jewish partners or others
are non practicing of their religion, they might find fulfillment
in Judaism.
Written by Rabbi Jonathan L. Hecht, Ph.D., Temple Chaverim, Plainview,
NY
Is it the policy that men must be circumcised prior to conversion?
The reason I am asking this question regards my eight year old
son. For a variety of reasons he was not circumcised, including
the fact that when he was born, while my husband is Jewish, I
was not. I would prefer for him to make his own decision when
he is older, or perhaps then it can be done with a local anesthetic.
As a result of religious school and home ritual he considers himself
to be Jewish and I feel it is important to have him converted.
Traditionally, conversion ritual for men involves both mikvah
and brit milah. An orthodox rabbi would not consider your son
to be a Jew until both rituals were performed. From a Reform point
of view, if your son has a Jewish father and is raised as a Jew,
he is considered a Jew. We do not discriminate between matrilineal
and patrilineal descent.
If his father is not a Jew, and you were not when he was born,
then there is some "doubt." Liberal Reform rabbis would view him
as a Jew by upbringing and would not raise questions. Some others
might wish to see a conversion. Many of the latter, however, would
not demand circumcision.
The best reason to go through the circumcision is so his "conversion"
is accepted by more Jews. As for waiting, well, that may in part
be a medical issue. It would occur to me that now might be less
painful than later, and that you could explain it top your son
at his point not as a conversion ritual, since he considers himself
a Jew, but as an operation that will make him like other Jewish
men -- an operation often but not always done at birth.
Beyond that, you are of course right that he could opt to do it
later "if necessary." I wonder, though, whether he might one day
question your "failure" to perform this ritual in a timely manner?
Obviously there are a lot of angles to explore.
Written by Rabbi George Stern, Temple Beth Torah, Upper Nyack,
New York
I am Jewish and dating a non-Jewish woman who is considering
conversion to Judaism. I'd be so happy if she did convert, but
I don't want to seem like I'm forcing her to convert. How can
I best support her without coercing her?
In a way, you've answered your own question. Support, not coercion.
No one should convert out of coercion, and no rabbi should be
involved in such.
When I send a prospective convert to an Introduction to Judaism
class, if there is a Jewish partner involved I push hard to have
the Jew go to the class as well. That supports the non-Jew. So
does attending synagogue and bringing Jewish rituals into personal
life as much as possible. If the Jew can't go to class, then s/he
should at least be willing and able to discuss the classes and
support the study --even read some of the books.
Years ago Egon Mayer, a Queens College sociologist and maven on
conversion, spoke at my congregation and said that the main reason
given by non-Jews for not converting is that they were never asked.
So the Jew should indicate that HONEST conversion would be very
important to him, as would a Jewish wedding.
Written by Rabbi George Stern, Temple Beth Torah, Upper Nyack,
New York.
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